A person’s libido is driven by hormones, and arousal is a natural response to stimuli—but neither of these things are the same as attraction.
My body can feel aroused when kissing someone I have feelings for, but my brain draws the line at actually wanting to have sex with them. According to the Asexuality Archive’s Guide to Masturbation (asexualityarchive.com), masturbation is a physical act that does not require sexual attraction.
They assumed I was on the Pill, too, because they assumed I was having sex with guys. I thought maybe I’d have an epiphany one day and realize I was a lesbian.
My best friends in high school were gay, and I knew I’d be accepted by them if I was, also.
I didn’t want him in the same way; I didn’t want to take things to the next level.
I stayed up all night while he slept beside me; the next morning, I told him I had never had sex, not even with my ex. I agonized about it all summer, wondering what was wrong with me.
Others identify as “grey-A” and experience sexual attraction to a limited degree, or, in the case of “demisexuals,” only within emotionally intimate romantic relationships.
There are asexuals who find themselves attracted to television characters as they get to know them over the course of a season, but feel no stirring in their loins for the actors who play those characters.
Like almost any other couple, we hung out all the time, obsessed over shared interests, held hands, cuddled, and shared a bed. The fact that we didn’t have sex was a non-issue, something we didn’t address explicitly. We broke up after five years together, and it was then that I was forced to acknowledge how uncommon my relationship experience was.
The first time I tried dating someone else, I was overwhelmed by his sexual attraction toward me.